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Shed A Tear Or Two

by Anyways So Concepts!

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1.
it's absurd to even write this song i don't know you you're just a glimpse of a pattern you might not fit of course you don't this has been my problem all along the jumping into imaginary futures where our love somehow forms of course it won't a manic pixie mary magdalene always healing wounds that appear with no memories of injury of course they don't you say it in the subjects you select where you're heading is far from home so you never neglect your dreams you better not a mary pixie manic magdalene always keeping trace of where she's yet to run
2.
one of the first questions you ever asked me was where i'd like to travel if i could you were hoping for japan or at least across an ocean but that never interested me you see i want to explore just on a grander scale i'll take the universe and nothing less but the cold of space oppresses and the distances subdue any promises or destinations if i find a way if there is a path i will save your place it starts with shared ambition and coherent light directed at us lovers one by one we planned this trip together and left our homes behind the gleam of centauri in our eyes and as my turn approaches i face you one last time the brightness of your smile it deceives and as my sight adjusts you quickly shrink and fade receding at relativistic speed if i see you there if our paths are true i will save your place i will save your place my course was misaligned i drifted past centauri maybe i'll see you at circini in a little more time and if i should disturb any trace gases think of them as a sign that you were loved here yes you were loved here yes you were loved here you were loved here you were loved here
3.
i always thought you had it right that you had seen the truth you taught me more than i knew then just about how to be you were in love and i refused what you had said to me i was confused and didn't notice you were everything that i've ever loved since that i've ever sought in your parents' basement and all that we've lost and wherever you are just know i agree with every word you said directed at me directed at me i still have the note you wrote that you never thought i'd read but i always liked exploring from your view but i never wrote a song though you're in every last one you're a poem called "regret" from junior year i'm not trying to disrupt any missions in your life i'm sorry if i overcheer from afar but i learned that from you and many more in turn are grateful and everyone that knows my love knows some of yours cause all i've ever loved since all i ever sought are movies in basements and unbridled talk and wherever you go i hope you still feel as free as you need to stay wild and loved for always my love "for always" my love
4.
Unaddressed 05:42
you've done a lot just to survive you've felt unsafe and not been wrong and no matter how hard you have tried the monsters still take you by surprise but your heart is pure and full of love and your instincts are always for peace did you imagine each time you escaped that unwelcome men would get back in? when i desired you i didn't know you i sang few words you desired to hear but if i could vanquish the dark surroundings i'd sing a spell cause you deserve no fear it's become too much work to conceal how he never wonders how you feel but if you're always willing to look past then bad omens will go unaddressed and it's a virtue when you persevere but there's no wisdom when you are consigned that this is all you ever did deserve that he is what you pray he truly is when i desired you i didn't know you i sang few words you desired to hear but if i could vanquish the dark surroundings i'd sing a spell cause you deserve no fear when i desired you i hardly knew you but friends are those that you keep by choice and if time should take you to brighter futures then none should dare stand or lie in the way lie in the way lie in the way you've done a lot to get this far and you'll do more each next day that remains but there is no fundamental force keeping you in places you aren't safe run away run away run away
5.
i can't shake that the last ten years and all the pain through them it didn't have to happen i knew when i met you what we could be for each other you ran away and i never stopped crying and how could i know if these tears would ever stop even near or far your other foot would always be out the door and on your way are you done running away? i know it's you and not me but that doesn't make it hurt less anyway sometimes these broken hearts just produce pain i still can't forget clammy hands and how they fidget how you breathed in me and wanted more and never asked for seconds if i ever do forget how in hours we spent lifetimes but each death it was permanent our love a statue stuck in marble and what is in your mind when you travel all the time you don't have to be alone but it's the company you find and here in 4/4 time i've been waiting all my life for a chance to prove what i thought was true all along and how could we know if our fears would ever calm even near or far who's feet would be those in and out the door and on our way are we done running away? i know it's us and not we but that doesn't make it hurt less anyway sometimes these broken hearts just produce pain sometimes it's love that's missing all the same sometimes when we kissed it was in the rain sometimes i think our love could win the day sometimes these broken hearts just produce pain sometimes these broken hearts just produce pain sometimes it's love that's missing all the same sometimes i think our love could win the day sometimes when we kissed it was in the rain sometimes when we kisesd it was in the rain sometimes these broken hearts just produce pain
6.
i've lost the acid tongue that etched this battle trench piss, salt, and vinegar what chemistry is this? the taste of words i can't take back the guilded soul is ill but i can't feel a thing right now so do with me as you will my energy is fleeting the pain is always creeping i'm dreading everything i left the elegy unwritten but i cried when i felled crooked limbs that never knew the kind the pace of hearts that push too fast the panic in our veins if we can't solve it all right now then let's jump off this train i don't know what i'm fearing i just know i'm afraid and it gets better but it won't today not today
7.
i've been seeing norah everywhere a pastel assistant to thoughts that lead me into faltering disgressions and with each infirmary return i decline remedies that stink of living death that taste of vivisection if i want to survive then i must brook no change if i want to remain then i can't forfeit any dreams i must stay pristine i've been letting norah guide me home she speaks with wistful appetite for any verse or tone that understands our quarrel and as usual i shuffle through assorted melodies that never affirm or bring any consolation i just want to cry if i want to survive then i must brook no change if i want to remain then i can't forfeit any dreams letting go of pain means letting go of me i must stay pristine i must stay pristine norah's been a dream soft stone polished through tearfall scattered in fine sand milled from all this heartache i always succumb to this lonely erosion a channel fathoms deep where daylight seldom reaches but you're here with me you're all that i require shed a tear or two help make this basin finer but you're here with me you're all that i require shed a tear or two help make this basin finer shed a tear or two help make this basin finer
8.
you're not a usual human you get more tired than most you hyperfixate on resting is that what you want the most? but there's always a ringing a flash of light that's too bright and a sun that's too hot bearing down on the plains but i can tell you the quiet only comes around you and your eyes are so bright each detail comes through but what will happen if you think all this is some charade? because "purple is poison" isn't that what they say? but i desire your company and to probe at your brain and to learn if you're like me a plum poison glitch fade a plum poison glitch fade you're not a usual human (usual human) you get more tired than most you hyperfixate on resting (resting) is that what you want the most? and there's always a ringing (can you answer that?) a flash of light that's too bright or a sun that's too hot (the sun is so hot) bearing down on the plains (my god the sun is so hot) i can tell you the quiet (quiet, quiet) only comes around you and your eyes are so bright (bright, bright) each detail comes through and what will happen if you think all this is some charade? (all this is some charade) because purple is poison (purple is poison) isn't that what they say? i desire your company (company) and to probe at your brain (and to probe at your brain) and to learn if you're like me a plum poison glitch fade a plum poison glitch fade (a plum poison glitch fade) a plum poison glitch fade (a plum poison glitch fade) a plum poison glitch fade (a plum poison glitch fade) a plum poison glitch fade (a plum poison glitch fade) a plum poison glitch fade
9.
i'm falling back on things i used to be insecure and certain in all of the worst ways and there is more distance than every before between me and what i expect that you expect of me and these old songbooks speak of a history of a child learning how to love and for so long the songs didn't resonate i'm starting to resemble them again well i wasn't such a great person but boi i could dream in recent memory i cannot place solace or composure in any other's glance and yet i failed to predict how you would leave me without ambition or without memory of all these carols you and i would sing with a little hesi tay shun like all these snowflakes that linger in the air that just can't decide they want to be well i never was uncertain in that way i can't imagine who could be well these songs never got me through the troubles since i moved away from home a compulsion like an illness that draws me in a fine bespoke delusion of your soft skin never more than an arm's length away never having to wonder who will sing these carols with me i'm falling back on things i used to be insecure and certain in all of the right ways
10.
since when was i ok with treating you this way with needing you at all the days are falling in a pattern that obscures a look you would give me over and over and over and over where the attention i needed the words you repeated that built all we had and now haunt me for acting this shadowy play what is it you used to say? "you think in reluctant directions with inelegant expectations" i'm not sure i ever understood complacent creeps slowly in or was it invited? which one of us let it in? you had your faith and i had none still i was the one holding out for a miracle that you would stay what is it you used to say? "you think in reluctant directions with inelegant expectations" i'm not sure i ever understood you're uncertain if i ever could since when was i ok with leaving you this way not needing you at all i try to tell myself your foot was out the door but that was only to lead me or tease me or draw out my passions i only hurt you a little i only broke your heart and moved away without seeking forgiveness or staying in touch what is it you used to say? "you think in reluctant directions with inelegant expectations" i'm not sure i ever understood you're uncertain if ever could it was foolish to think that i ever could what is it you used to say? "you think in reluctant directions with inelegant expectations" well here are some more
11.
i don't remember if in one of those notes you wrote me in freshmen year said anything about a song and if you wanted one to be for your to give a reason to leave him: he was too old to be in school how do i make that kid understand what you were enduring what you weren't telling what if you weren't hiding at least you hoped i'd see i felt first it was a joke you played a hazing of a bullied child who never expects better than neglect what you saw in me was empathy i didn't know i had in me i'd buried down where only damage falls how do i make that kid understand what they were enduring what they weren't telling what if they weren't hiding at least they hoped you'd see the monsters who broke more than you and me i only remember you needed a friend and i was a safe one you invited in and megan pretended while we cuddled in the hall plan b was a bus trip to planned parenthood so you could be free from his legacy and megan pretended while we waited for your call how do i make that kid understand how do i make that kid understand how do i make that kid understand monsters threaten our lives and they threaten our friends and they'll never feel guilt and will do it again i'm sorry for not doing more to help you escape him

credits

released July 21, 2023

All Songs on Shed a Tear or Two were written and sung by Jayme Johnson. (ASCAP)

All Acoustic and Electric Guitar performance by Jayme Johnson.

All other instruments, arrangements, and and effects work on the album were performed as a neurodivergent work of partnership between Jayme Johnson and Glenn Baughman except as listed below:

Kit Drum Performance on "Manic Pixie Mary Magdalene", "Friendship Park", and "Lonely Erosion" by Eric Hudson
Harp overdubs on "Old Songbook" by Pat
Electric Guitar and Aux Percussion overdubs for "Heartbreak Starshot by Paul Deciglie.

Producer: Glenn Baughman

All DAW Automation, Tracking, Mixing, and Mastering for "Shed a Tear or Two" executed by Glenn Baughman except as listed below:

Mixing on "Lonely Erosion" and "Heartbreak Starshot" done by Paul Deciglie at Station 1 Studios

Final Mixing on "Manic Pixie Mary Magdalene" done by Jayme Johnson at Anyways So Concepts! Studio

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